Well since I find myself at a cross road in life and have been told by some that my opinion needs to be secret and I need to "monitor" my opinion. I guess I will blog how my last year has gone.
As some of you know I have been single now for a year and a half. After 10 years of marriage I found myself. Lost, lonely and useless. The last 2 years of my marriage were a challenge to say the least. My ex and I found ourselves fighting more than anything. Nothing made him happy. My children and I would walk on egg shells.
So one day in August of 2010 I sat my ex down and said this isn't working. I am tired of being scared of what is going to set you off, things aren't working out. I've tried to make you happy and in the process have lost myself. I myself am not happy in my marriage or my life. He begged and pleaded for 6 months to prove that he could be a better husband, father and friend. In the end it didn't work. Maybe my mind was already made up but then again I had more than just myself to worry about in this situation. What helped me make my decision? When my daughter told my mom that if I took him back that she would go and live with her grandma, she was tired of living in fear and hiding.
So In February of 2011 I decided I needed to take care of my kids and myself. I told him it wasn't working and that this was the end. I had him move out. I had nothing no money, no job and no security for my kids. I was unsure of our future but I knew that if I stayed it would only get worse.
I had a little savings which I lived on for 5 months. I looked for jobs, filling out sometimes 10 applications a day. I started dating a guy that I thought was kind and gentle. After all he had full custody of his kids and the judge surely wouldn't give children to someone that was otherwise right? Yeah he worked nights so he could be there for his kids during the day. But after a couple months of watching him neglect his kids and torture his ex wife. I found him almost repulsive. I tried to accept him and maybe even change him to care about everyone around him and be gentle. But that old saying you cant teach an old dog new tricks, or the one where it says you cant change someone else. Yeah that was him. He is/was overweight but would judge me and my children by what we wore, how our hair looked and so on so forth. His children were brats to top it off. And tortured my kids. Calling my little boy names that to this day he holds a grudge for. The last straw was when they actually inflicted physical pain on my kids. I walked. The reason I left my ex was because of the emotional abuse and here I found myself in the same kind of relationship.
I knew a guy for years. He was in the process of a divorce. And well my dog got sick and I didn't have the money to put him down. I knew this guy had a place south of town with land. I called him up to see if he could humanly put my puppy down. Well that would be our love story lol. The night after he did it he brought my carrier back and we sat and talked til 3 in the morning. I hadn't had that friend to talk to in months. When life got rough for me my friends found the door. Happily we have been together for a year he is my bestfriend. My youngest is as happy as can be, he is a totally different kid, the problems we'd been experiencing for years has almost vanished.
Through the last year life has been rough for us. At first my ex paid a few things than decided he didn't want to pay anymore. So there went the car. Thankfully my mom and dad had a car that they weren't driving I just had to put the plates on it. (which by the way took me 5 months) I kept applying for jobs. One after another. Getting daily rejection letters of "Thank you for your interest in our position but we have found someone more qualified and have decided to hire them. But we will keep your resume on file for 6 months in case the position becomes available again" which of course some of those positions did come open but again I wasn't considered for any of the positions. I would clean houses, sell belongings and do whatever I needed to to pay my bills.
In December we finally went to court for our first court hearing for the child support. I unfortunately didn't get the amount that I should have since he was self employed and could hide alot of his income. Back to the panic board. My children wouldn't have had a christmas had it not been for the kind people at the Rape and Domestic office. They made it so that we had christmas dinner and gifts. Unfortunately my youngest had to spend his first christmas in our new life with his dad and his dads druggie girlfriend. That did not fair well. He came home a very unhappy sad mad kid. Back to the drawing board and counselor.
Things were starting to look up and I thought I was getting things figured out. Had things worked out with the people that we were doing the land contract through and then the rug got pulled out from under me again. They decided to change their minds and sell my house on a Sherriffs Auction. At the end of July my children and I will be out on the street.
In the process I did find a job. YAYYYYYY me ! I work in an office only a few hours a day but its a start. I love my job and my boss. She has been very kind to me! I also started to sell for Perfectly Posh (because of my wonderful boyfriend).... Which gives me another avenue for potential income. Although right now it is slow going, it is a new company and it will take time for me to build it up like my Scentsy. But in the end it will definately be rewarding!
Through all of this I had kept in contact on occasion with my first bf after divorce. I told him he could be a friend if he wanted to or if he was capable. When he didn't get his way he would be like a child in a candy store that didn't get a lollipop! He became vindictive. Threatening to help my ex's take my kids from me.(which he could try all he wanted I wasn't scared by this threat, I take care of my kids and don't neglect them) Making it so that I wouldn't get hired for a job or just harrassing me. I played it off because of his mentality. Then he crossed the line. Him and a girl decided to cook up a scheme to break me and my bf up! Which is my last known source of stability! She started making the moves on him, which I love him dearly but doesn't see how she wanted him. Then the ex idiot moved in and facebooked him and told him to call they needed to talk. I was insanely mad! How could he go thru with this bs and look at himself in the mirror. Oh that's right because he's the worlds biggest ASSHOLE!
My bf did talk to him and he said everything I told the bf he would. None of it is true ofcourse because he was making it up as he went along. If there is anything I learned from this person is how to be more vindictive. I made a post about him on my fb to draw attention to him because of a contact I have on my fb. He is violating numerous laws not to mention the ones he broke in the past years that I know of that I could and would use against him if he pursues this! I've told him before don't cross me or I will make your life living hell... because what he does to me will look like childs play by the time I'm done with him! I live by the laws, I don't burn things to the ground to collect insurance checks.
Now it is the end of July and my kids and I are without a home. I am in the process of moving my belongings out of my 8 year home to a garage. We are going to live in our camper in someones back yard. Not the ideal situation but its only temporary and its better than the homeless shelter! We have a chance at a home the end of August or beginning of September. So there is light at the end of the tunnel! But getting there is half my battle. Making sure me and my kids are together and HAPPY is the other.
So now I blog, because I am told that what I say is unfit to put on MY WALL because it hurts others. Really? Hummmmm I don't recall you being there with me or for me in the past 2 years supporting me or holding me up. You have no idea what I have gone thru or how many nights I laid in my bed crying because I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills. I have struggled, fought and clung to life by the tip of my fingernails. I know not everyone has it easy everyone has their struggles. I am thankful I have my children and they are healthy. But I feel like a failure not to be able to provide for them in the way they deserve.
But I know in the end this will just make us appreciate things so much more and it will only make us stronger! I love my kids and my bf with all my heart and with them I can make it through this..... its been a rough road to tow but I've gotten this far Im almost to the finish line.... I can see it, its just a matter of getting there.....
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Fact Or Fiction: Momma always said
When I first got this.....Fact or Fiction. I thought oh I know exactly what I want to write about. First thing that came to mind was a question I put on facebook......Remember when mom said if you pull your eyelashes out that they wouldn't come back and you wouldn't have any? LOL ok I was bored and I had one that was hanging there and I pulled it out and 3 more came with it. Truth is.....you are not gonna be eyelash bald! They do come back. I remember when I was bored in school and would pull them out and make a little pile....just to see how many would come out....I know I was a dork, retarded and just plain out stupid. I dont know but I did it anyway. I told my mom and she said "Don't do that your going to be bald cuz they don't grow back!" She was wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG! Im not eyelash bald now, but I do use the same line on my kids!
There are numerous "white lies" that are parents used on us......Don't pick your nose, your finger will get stuck....Don't run with scissors, you'll fall and gauge yourself. If you play with it, it will fall off (sorry its just one that while I was doing my list that everyone had to use). If you pull 1 gray hair 7 comes to the funeral! (which im starting to think is fact) You break something I'm not taking you to the doctor! If you swallow bubble gum it will stay in your poop shooter and plug you up...and ofcourse there is the notorious If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach...you'll look like your pregnant! Wow our parents could fill our minds with crap and the sad thing is we BELIEVED everything they said......The fact of the matter is they were ofcourse all FICTION!
Here is a couple other ones. My mom had said that she wrote the book on bad! Whatever I could would and will do she's the one that did it first, better and never got caught.....If I attempted the same stupidity she would know I did it before the event even occured! Boy was she right! I remember once that I had been driving on main street. The girl that was with me wanted to go with these boys. I had a curfew. I told her I didn't want to waste my time with them. I refused to stop...we were only going about 3 miles an hour..She jumped out of my car slammed the door and the side window SHATTERED! I was freaked....it was ofcourse my car that I was paying for everything for including insurance, plates, payments and gas. So I call mom and tell her that I really want to stay in town. When I got home the next morning with my window covered with a Garbage bag. She was on me like white on rice. I was honest and told her what had happened but ofcourse she didnt believe me because why? why? you ask? Because one of her spys in town had told her a totally different story. Even tho they hadn't seen what happened. But She didnt believe me anyway. And well I got grounded! She was right tho, she knew it happened....within minutes of it happening! I never hid anything from her again....or not til I found out I was pregnant. Remember, I was scared of mom, still am!
What about that saying of mom has eyes in the back of her head! Yeah she had those.....still can't see them, even tho I cut her hair. But I know they are there......my kids have figured out that I as a parent have acquired those same eyes in the back of my head. So that little myth is in fact a FACT! You laugh but if you are a parent you know its true....they don't actually exist but we do know everything..we see everything and we hear everything.
Yep that is what Our kids see when they look at us.....but boy do they still try to pull things off.
I know there are tons more facts or fictions.....those are the most I could come up with....I love all those little sayings mom used to say.....they make me laugh because I always swore that I wouldn't ever sound like my mom but every now and again I hear her voice coming out of my mouth!
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There are numerous "white lies" that are parents used on us......Don't pick your nose, your finger will get stuck....Don't run with scissors, you'll fall and gauge yourself. If you play with it, it will fall off (sorry its just one that while I was doing my list that everyone had to use). If you pull 1 gray hair 7 comes to the funeral! (which im starting to think is fact) You break something I'm not taking you to the doctor! If you swallow bubble gum it will stay in your poop shooter and plug you up...and ofcourse there is the notorious If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach...you'll look like your pregnant! Wow our parents could fill our minds with crap and the sad thing is we BELIEVED everything they said......The fact of the matter is they were ofcourse all FICTION!
Here is a couple other ones. My mom had said that she wrote the book on bad! Whatever I could would and will do she's the one that did it first, better and never got caught.....If I attempted the same stupidity she would know I did it before the event even occured! Boy was she right! I remember once that I had been driving on main street. The girl that was with me wanted to go with these boys. I had a curfew. I told her I didn't want to waste my time with them. I refused to stop...we were only going about 3 miles an hour..She jumped out of my car slammed the door and the side window SHATTERED! I was freaked....it was ofcourse my car that I was paying for everything for including insurance, plates, payments and gas. So I call mom and tell her that I really want to stay in town. When I got home the next morning with my window covered with a Garbage bag. She was on me like white on rice. I was honest and told her what had happened but ofcourse she didnt believe me because why? why? you ask? Because one of her spys in town had told her a totally different story. Even tho they hadn't seen what happened. But She didnt believe me anyway. And well I got grounded! She was right tho, she knew it happened....within minutes of it happening! I never hid anything from her again....or not til I found out I was pregnant. Remember, I was scared of mom, still am!
What about that saying of mom has eyes in the back of her head! Yeah she had those.....still can't see them, even tho I cut her hair. But I know they are there......my kids have figured out that I as a parent have acquired those same eyes in the back of my head. So that little myth is in fact a FACT! You laugh but if you are a parent you know its true....they don't actually exist but we do know everything..we see everything and we hear everything.
I know there are tons more facts or fictions.....those are the most I could come up with....I love all those little sayings mom used to say.....they make me laugh because I always swore that I wouldn't ever sound like my mom but every now and again I hear her voice coming out of my mouth!
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Sunday, January 9, 2011
Time to do something for a New Years Resolution!
So I have been thinking....yeah I know scary huh. Everyone makes New Years Resolution's. I have said for years I wont make them because they are too easy to break. We say we are gonna go on a diet...within a week we are shoving Mc'd's in their mouths! Gonna exercise....again shoveling food in your mouths is not considered exercise. There are numerous New Years Resolutions go made and broken within days of being made...so therefore I don't make resolutions. But as I was sitting here tonite I thought of one that I can keep!
I'M DONE "TRYING" TO BE NICE! LOL Notice I said "trying" Its not working. I can't be nice I don't know who I'm trying to fool....and all it does is stress me out. And it comes back to bite me in the ass! I help someone and I don't even get so much as Thank you or kiss my ass! I give them something and nothing. I am a people pleaser! Most of the time anyway...some may think I'm selfish and have even gone to the extent to to tell me that I am! Yeah I'm selfish...I'm selfish with my movies, I'm selfish with my money, I'm selfish with my kids, and yes even to an extent I'm selfish with my time....most of the time I will drop what I'm working on to help you with your problem! But why...what do I get by doing this? How many times can you people tell me (the ones that have said I'm selfish) dropped what your doing to help me? NEVER!!!! Unless they have something to gain from it! I'm so tired of being the one that has to take care of everyone else. Why? Since when did it become my problem you can't pay for this or that...since when is it my fault you don't have a babysitter. So I am a Stay At Home mom....that doesn't mean that I'm YOUR Stay at Home Bitch! I am not here to please you! And I'm done trying.
Or until someone wants something from me! So others aren't nice to me til it fits their means and it seems to be working for them why can't I try that? I can go around being rude, nasty and plain out rubbing in others faces about their great things....blowing my trumpet in the streets as the bible says. It works for others why shouldn't I try to be like that.
I'm going to go out of my way to completely speak my mind. I'm very opinionated anyway. But usually unless someone asks my opinion I keep it to myself. I don't sugar coat anything....if you want someone to lick your wounds ask the your mommy! If you want the truth come ask me, just think of me as the Wise Old Owl that found out how many licks it took to get to the center of a lolly pop.
So I think from now on I'm going to go out of my way to make sure everyone knows my opinion whether they want it or not. Like for example the people that are looking at the mildew infested house next door! Maybe they'll think I'm crazy enough it will never get sold! It's kind of nice not having neighbors and having to worry about my driveway being blocked because they don't feel that they can park over on the parking street instead of across my driveway!
I'm tired of going out of my way to make everyone else happy. My kids, husband, neighbors, customers, people at the school, and friends. When do I get to be happy? Because me trying to make everyone else happy and going out of my way to do nice for everyone else is only stressing me out! For 30+ years I have tried to be nice and make everyone else happy. My parents, then boyfriends, friends along the way, customers (in whatever I'm selling or doing at the time), my kids and my husband. I think that If i stop focusing on being so nice and just voicing my opinions rather than to sit on them and then blowing up like a volcano after so long! I might be able to be able to be more relaxed. Maybe by doing this I won't take it out on my kids so much. Maybe I won't be so wound up about someone blocking my driveway, or blocking the drop off zone....Hummm I may be on to something...
So my new years resolution is............................To stop "trying" to be nice. I'm just going to be me! If you don't like it.......please find the door! Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
I'M DONE "TRYING" TO BE NICE! LOL Notice I said "trying" Its not working. I can't be nice I don't know who I'm trying to fool....and all it does is stress me out. And it comes back to bite me in the ass! I help someone and I don't even get so much as Thank you or kiss my ass! I give them something and nothing. I am a people pleaser! Most of the time anyway...some may think I'm selfish and have even gone to the extent to to tell me that I am! Yeah I'm selfish...I'm selfish with my movies, I'm selfish with my money, I'm selfish with my kids, and yes even to an extent I'm selfish with my time....most of the time I will drop what I'm working on to help you with your problem! But why...what do I get by doing this? How many times can you people tell me (the ones that have said I'm selfish) dropped what your doing to help me? NEVER!!!! Unless they have something to gain from it! I'm so tired of being the one that has to take care of everyone else. Why? Since when did it become my problem you can't pay for this or that...since when is it my fault you don't have a babysitter. So I am a Stay At Home mom....that doesn't mean that I'm YOUR Stay at Home Bitch! I am not here to please you! And I'm done trying.
Or until someone wants something from me! So others aren't nice to me til it fits their means and it seems to be working for them why can't I try that? I can go around being rude, nasty and plain out rubbing in others faces about their great things....blowing my trumpet in the streets as the bible says. It works for others why shouldn't I try to be like that.
I'm going to go out of my way to completely speak my mind. I'm very opinionated anyway. But usually unless someone asks my opinion I keep it to myself. I don't sugar coat anything....if you want someone to lick your wounds ask the your mommy! If you want the truth come ask me, just think of me as the Wise Old Owl that found out how many licks it took to get to the center of a lolly pop.
So I think from now on I'm going to go out of my way to make sure everyone knows my opinion whether they want it or not. Like for example the people that are looking at the mildew infested house next door! Maybe they'll think I'm crazy enough it will never get sold! It's kind of nice not having neighbors and having to worry about my driveway being blocked because they don't feel that they can park over on the parking street instead of across my driveway!
I'm tired of going out of my way to make everyone else happy. My kids, husband, neighbors, customers, people at the school, and friends. When do I get to be happy? Because me trying to make everyone else happy and going out of my way to do nice for everyone else is only stressing me out! For 30+ years I have tried to be nice and make everyone else happy. My parents, then boyfriends, friends along the way, customers (in whatever I'm selling or doing at the time), my kids and my husband. I think that If i stop focusing on being so nice and just voicing my opinions rather than to sit on them and then blowing up like a volcano after so long! I might be able to be able to be more relaxed. Maybe by doing this I won't take it out on my kids so much. Maybe I won't be so wound up about someone blocking my driveway, or blocking the drop off zone....Hummm I may be on to something...
So my new years resolution is............................To stop "trying" to be nice. I'm just going to be me! If you don't like it.......please find the door! Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
Friday, January 7, 2011
When you thought you had it going ok
Just when I didn't think things could get worse financially....my usb ports go down on my computer! 2 Hours of trying to get the damn things back up trying everything under the sun and nothing works.....Ever have one of those days with your computer that you want to see it fly! Unfortunately I have done some searching and found out that this is a common problem for this kind of computer and the whole mother board has to be replaced since it is all one piece. A 300 part! Plus labor...better off to buy a new computer!
We become so accustomed to using our digital technology. We have wii's, playstations, xbox's, tv remotes, computers, wireless remotes-mice-printers. Everything in our lives revolve around technology.
I remember when I was younger and we actually had to get up and turn the tv channel on the tv...there was nothing digital about it...you had 2 knobs...One for 1-13...then the bottom knob for the ufv channels. Now if we lose the remote we will spend hours looking for the remote rather than walk up to the tv and just change the channel...not because we cant we just want the remote! Cable was a luxury and usually we couldn't afford it. We got maybe 1 local channel that you had to move the rabbit ears around to get somewhat clear picture. And when I say somewhat clear it meant that there was snow on the screen and you might be able to make out the faces on the screen. You would also get the educational channel and wouldn't you know it, it was as clear as a bell!
Computers were HUGE!!! And they weren't in color...well I guess they were in color if you consider the green lines that would run down the screen as you were trying to type. There was no Internet. If you wanted to find something out you opened the paper. Or bought a tv guide. Or you went to the library and opened 1,000 Page ENCYCLOPEDIA!!!! And that was only one volume...there were atleast 20 volumes.
Home computers were something that everyone thought were a futurist tv star trek thing. Never would happen. They really didn't gain their popularity til the early 90's. That's when they made DIAL UP Internet. Don't ever complain because you DSL wireless router is slow. This is rabbit speed compared to what we had......Dial up took forever you could literally cook a 5 course meal in the time it took for 1 page to boot up....and you paid by the minute! The wires would run all over the place...and if anyone called while you were on your computer on the Internet it would shut off your dial up!
We didn't have mp3's or ipods. We had Walkmans...they played tapes. They were about the size of a small book....they did come with a clip to clip them to your pants. But with the weight of them your pants would fall down. You carried around as many tapes as you could...Madonna was my fav.
We didn't have CD's. We had record players......my favorite song was by Don Henley...All she wants to do is dance. The record players were great and they came in 2 different sizes....33 1/2 or 45's...I still this day have a big box of 45's. Grease is the word..it is the word...sorry just had to sing it since its one of the records in my box. Anywho....they were played on a turntable with a tiny little needle. If your needle broke...which they were known to do and you didn't have a replacement...you were screwed. And done playing records.
The other great thing that came out in the 80's probably around 82' they came out with 2 different kinds of movie players...NO dvd's haven't always been around. You had Beta (which had a very short stint....maybe a year) then you had VHS. These were tapes. You would pop those bad boys in the Player and watch to your hearts content.....or until the movie was finally over...the covers didn't give much information so you usually ended up renting the dumbest damn movies on the rack! Oh and lets not forget that when you rented a movie back then...there was a nice little sticker on the outside of the tape saying "PLEASE BE KIND AND REWIND" and if you didn't you got charged because the store would have to do it for you...that was usually a nice fee of a $1. Which back then could add up and be your hourly wage....(wage in the 80's was $3.10-3.35 an hour) So renting a movie could cost you an hourly wage....And if you weren't one of those families that was lucky enough to own a VHS player you could rent them for $5 a NIGHT! They came in a big wooden box with padding around the player...
Cell phones didn't show up til around the late 80's....and they weren't really mobile...well they were. If you count the fact that the only place you could use them was in your car because they were bag phones...they had to stay plugged into your cigarette lighter (yes cigarette lighters in cars gaspp can you imagine?) And you didn't use them for casual conversations they were used for emergencies. Because the most minutes you could get back then was 250 and that was for a whopping 80 a month!
nite tag without our parents worrying about who was stalking us. We ran thru the sprinklers when we were little without anything on in the middle of our yards. We even played on slip and slides in the yard...usually run into the house bleeding out of one orfis or another, put a band aid on it and go back out for our next injury! Our means of transportation back then....was roller skates, skateboards or bikes...none of this electric scooters, or zip sticks. Or our parents running us anywhere....their philosophy was "god gave you legs for a reason use them". We played at the school, we fought, (no cops were called cuz no guns were involved) We pranked on the principal. We stayed home by ourselves at a very young age while our parents went out for the night. We babysat whoever needed us....it was an extra .50 cents an hour, that was hard to come by! Didn't matter how many kids those people had either.....there could be 10 and you'd still only get 50 cents an hour!
If you were really lucky someone would offer you to come over and help them clean....could take 2-10 hours but again that was an extra $5 you didn't have before! There was no going into walmart and asking for anything because the normal lecture before mom even shut off the car was....I don't have the money don't ask! And we didn't even have a walmart til 1987! We didn't have a McDonald's til the early 80's and back then you could get a happy meal for 1.19! Gas in the 80's was around 1.00 a gallon and that was only because of a huge gas shortage when the government thought we were going to run out! Then by the 90's it went down to around .70 a gallon. To us that was expensive! but with 5 friends everyone chipping in a buck a piece that made some good cruisin money.
Cars were boats on wheels....they were made of METAL! You could run into a building and hurt the building more than the car. They ran forever! Parts for those cars would cost less than 100 bucks and that was even including labor! Nothing in cars back then were digital..everything was on gauges. Insurance for a car back then for a 16 year old girl was about 30 bucks a month!
TV's were HUGEEEEEEEE!! Some even were set in wooden nice boxes on wheels....and those were for the rich families...we had one...but I think it was a hand me down. Waterbeds were the fad back in the 80's everyone had to have one....but you let your dog on it again you were SCREWED cuz now you have your own leaky pool in your bedroom.
Our idea of entertainment was roller skating races...night tag....football games...tractor pulls....rodeos'... and whatever else was free or cheap! Kids would gather at night to see how many lightening bugs we could catch so that we could plaster the bugs butts on our faces and run around with our faces glowing and act like CIA agents gone bad! Video recorders were hugeeee as well...you had to be a body builder to be able to hold the thing up on your shoulder and those took vhs tapes. And if you were lucky back then you had an atari! Or a Nintendo 64 in the late 80's but if your moms were like mine she would get flustered quickly and think it was the remote and tear it apart to find out why "it isn't working right". And the games were boxy...if your from the same era as me you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Over the years things have progressed and gotten smaller....I wouldn't give up my ipod or mp3 for anything...Things are compact...phones, tv's, remotes, cars, game systems. even our checking accounts...checks are almost obsolete.
And over the years we have become dependent on the technology that we use on a day to day basis....so when our computers don't work the way they are suppose to the shit will hit the fan. Yes laptops have become cheaper but minimum wage hasn't gotten much better since the 80's. Just meets the economical demands of paying our bills. So you cant just go out and drop 400 on a new computer like its nothing...today its a matter of saving up and waiting for the next best thing to come along.
We become so accustomed to using our digital technology. We have wii's, playstations, xbox's, tv remotes, computers, wireless remotes-mice-printers. Everything in our lives revolve around technology.
I remember when I was younger and we actually had to get up and turn the tv channel on the tv...there was nothing digital about it...you had 2 knobs...One for 1-13...then the bottom knob for the ufv channels. Now if we lose the remote we will spend hours looking for the remote rather than walk up to the tv and just change the channel...not because we cant we just want the remote! Cable was a luxury and usually we couldn't afford it. We got maybe 1 local channel that you had to move the rabbit ears around to get somewhat clear picture. And when I say somewhat clear it meant that there was snow on the screen and you might be able to make out the faces on the screen. You would also get the educational channel and wouldn't you know it, it was as clear as a bell!
Computers were HUGE!!! And they weren't in color...well I guess they were in color if you consider the green lines that would run down the screen as you were trying to type. There was no Internet. If you wanted to find something out you opened the paper. Or bought a tv guide. Or you went to the library and opened 1,000 Page ENCYCLOPEDIA!!!! And that was only one volume...there were atleast 20 volumes.
Home computers were something that everyone thought were a futurist tv star trek thing. Never would happen. They really didn't gain their popularity til the early 90's. That's when they made DIAL UP Internet. Don't ever complain because you DSL wireless router is slow. This is rabbit speed compared to what we had......Dial up took forever you could literally cook a 5 course meal in the time it took for 1 page to boot up....and you paid by the minute! The wires would run all over the place...and if anyone called while you were on your computer on the Internet it would shut off your dial up!
We didn't have mp3's or ipods. We had Walkmans...they played tapes. They were about the size of a small book....they did come with a clip to clip them to your pants. But with the weight of them your pants would fall down. You carried around as many tapes as you could...Madonna was my fav.
We didn't have CD's. We had record players......my favorite song was by Don Henley...All she wants to do is dance. The record players were great and they came in 2 different sizes....33 1/2 or 45's...I still this day have a big box of 45's. Grease is the word..it is the word...sorry just had to sing it since its one of the records in my box. Anywho....they were played on a turntable with a tiny little needle. If your needle broke...which they were known to do and you didn't have a replacement...you were screwed. And done playing records.
The other great thing that came out in the 80's probably around 82' they came out with 2 different kinds of movie players...NO dvd's haven't always been around. You had Beta (which had a very short stint....maybe a year) then you had VHS. These were tapes. You would pop those bad boys in the Player and watch to your hearts content.....or until the movie was finally over...the covers didn't give much information so you usually ended up renting the dumbest damn movies on the rack! Oh and lets not forget that when you rented a movie back then...there was a nice little sticker on the outside of the tape saying "PLEASE BE KIND AND REWIND" and if you didn't you got charged because the store would have to do it for you...that was usually a nice fee of a $1. Which back then could add up and be your hourly wage....(wage in the 80's was $3.10-3.35 an hour) So renting a movie could cost you an hourly wage....And if you weren't one of those families that was lucky enough to own a VHS player you could rent them for $5 a NIGHT! They came in a big wooden box with padding around the player...
Cell phones didn't show up til around the late 80's....and they weren't really mobile...well they were. If you count the fact that the only place you could use them was in your car because they were bag phones...they had to stay plugged into your cigarette lighter (yes cigarette lighters in cars gaspp can you imagine?) And you didn't use them for casual conversations they were used for emergencies. Because the most minutes you could get back then was 250 and that was for a whopping 80 a month!
nite tag without our parents worrying about who was stalking us. We ran thru the sprinklers when we were little without anything on in the middle of our yards. We even played on slip and slides in the yard...usually run into the house bleeding out of one orfis or another, put a band aid on it and go back out for our next injury! Our means of transportation back then....was roller skates, skateboards or bikes...none of this electric scooters, or zip sticks. Or our parents running us anywhere....their philosophy was "god gave you legs for a reason use them". We played at the school, we fought, (no cops were called cuz no guns were involved) We pranked on the principal. We stayed home by ourselves at a very young age while our parents went out for the night. We babysat whoever needed us....it was an extra .50 cents an hour, that was hard to come by! Didn't matter how many kids those people had either.....there could be 10 and you'd still only get 50 cents an hour!
If you were really lucky someone would offer you to come over and help them clean....could take 2-10 hours but again that was an extra $5 you didn't have before! There was no going into walmart and asking for anything because the normal lecture before mom even shut off the car was....I don't have the money don't ask! And we didn't even have a walmart til 1987! We didn't have a McDonald's til the early 80's and back then you could get a happy meal for 1.19! Gas in the 80's was around 1.00 a gallon and that was only because of a huge gas shortage when the government thought we were going to run out! Then by the 90's it went down to around .70 a gallon. To us that was expensive! but with 5 friends everyone chipping in a buck a piece that made some good cruisin money.
Cars were boats on wheels....they were made of METAL! You could run into a building and hurt the building more than the car. They ran forever! Parts for those cars would cost less than 100 bucks and that was even including labor! Nothing in cars back then were digital..everything was on gauges. Insurance for a car back then for a 16 year old girl was about 30 bucks a month!
TV's were HUGEEEEEEEE!! Some even were set in wooden nice boxes on wheels....and those were for the rich families...we had one...but I think it was a hand me down. Waterbeds were the fad back in the 80's everyone had to have one....but you let your dog on it again you were SCREWED cuz now you have your own leaky pool in your bedroom.
Our idea of entertainment was roller skating races...night tag....football games...tractor pulls....rodeos'... and whatever else was free or cheap! Kids would gather at night to see how many lightening bugs we could catch so that we could plaster the bugs butts on our faces and run around with our faces glowing and act like CIA agents gone bad! Video recorders were hugeeee as well...you had to be a body builder to be able to hold the thing up on your shoulder and those took vhs tapes. And if you were lucky back then you had an atari! Or a Nintendo 64 in the late 80's but if your moms were like mine she would get flustered quickly and think it was the remote and tear it apart to find out why "it isn't working right". And the games were boxy...if your from the same era as me you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Over the years things have progressed and gotten smaller....I wouldn't give up my ipod or mp3 for anything...Things are compact...phones, tv's, remotes, cars, game systems. even our checking accounts...checks are almost obsolete.
And over the years we have become dependent on the technology that we use on a day to day basis....so when our computers don't work the way they are suppose to the shit will hit the fan. Yes laptops have become cheaper but minimum wage hasn't gotten much better since the 80's. Just meets the economical demands of paying our bills. So you cant just go out and drop 400 on a new computer like its nothing...today its a matter of saving up and waiting for the next best thing to come along.
TOP Things that Irritate me!
Im sitting here thinking what can I blog about now....didnt think i'd ever run out of things to blog or bitch about. But what can I say? Blogging has been very therapuetic for me. So I thought i'd write about things that irritate me........ This could be a much longer list but like I said these are the TOP things that irritate me. These are in no perticular order just in the order they came to mind...some irritate me more than others!
- When its cold.....your windows will be frosted over. Do everyone a favor and go start your car 10 minutes early and turn on the fricken defrost. Do not scrape of a 1' x 1' box in front of the drivers window and try to drive down the street...your going to piss me off and next time I will purposely hit you and it will be your fault cuz of the obstruction on YOUR windshield! I needed a new car THANKS!
- Don't ride my ass....Im going the speed limit...If you were in that big of a hurry you should have left 10 minutes earlier so that you too could go the speed limit. If I get a speeding ticket to keep you from tailgating me Im going to hunt you down like a rabid dog and string you up by your berries!
- Pulling right out in front of me, unless you can find the gas pedal and get to the speed limit before I ram the grill of my murano Up your ass....you are not in that big of a hurry that you have to cut others off and risk their safety!
- Going to the gas station and getting a $1.07 fountain pop, taking your time getting your lid and your straw.....managing to block the whole counter with yourself cuz your ass is as wide as a cadillac. Then getting to the register and and charging the 1.07 on your debit card....really are you that pathetic you dont have 1.07 in change in your console?
- Going to HELLMART loading your cart with every fricken small item you can find in the store til your cart is overflowing! Then taking said cart thru the self check out!!!!! Get your ass over to a regular register you arent smart enough to scan that many items and we all know your going to steal half the shit in your cart and that is why your at the self check out!
- Block an isle at the store, because you have just run into your neighbor/church member/friend you hadnt talked to in 5 fricken minutes! So you feel you need to stand and block it so you can catch up on what happened to you between your house and the store....really pick up the fricken phone...and saturdays and sundays in hellmart is not the place to do this...Just a FYI! Get the hell out of my way you are now slowing my schedule down because I dont care that matilda got expelled from school for walking thru the halls...Who Fucking Cares!
- Pick up refrigerated food...you know meat, milk, cheese, eggs, frozen foods...and then decide half way thru the store you either dont want them or cant afford them so you just lay them down in the underware Isle! Do they belong there? Is that where you got them to start with....NOOOOOOOOOOOO go put that shit back where you got it...you just cost those employee's profit sharing which comes out of their paychecks,,,which in turn just made the meat go up $1 a pound you stupid numbnut! I catch one more person do this im gonna shove it up their asses then they will have to pay for it! Stop costing me more on my food bill!
- Take your uncontrollable brats out in public...if you cant control them invest in rope and duct tape. They are not yet society's problem they are yours....if they cant act any better than animals then they shouldnt be let out of their cages! You brought them into this world YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM. When I go to the store I dont want to listen to your kid scream cuz they cant have something...do everyone else a favor and leave the fricken store...if I can hear your kid that is screaming in the toy isle over in the frozen section there is a problem...chances are YOU are the problem...take them to the car and whoop their asses.... When I go out to a restruarant I do not want to enjoy your kids food as they are throwing it around the place...again take them to the car.
- Blaring radio's! One sentance on this....IF I WANTED TO HEAR THE SHIT COMING OUT OF YOUR STEREO I'D BE SITTING IN YOUR CAR! Enough said.
- Lieing to me.....Believe me I am a mom I can smell a lie a mile away so go ahead and lie.....now ask me if im really going to believe you!
- Give me advice on how to raise my kids or run my marriage. Your far from perfect. If you cant fix your own shit what makes you think that I really want your advice.....
- If you are not married or have children do Us parents and married people a favor! Keep your fucking mouth shut...you have no idea what your talking about...til you have walked a mile in our shoes, drove hundreds of miles with a crying baby in the middle of the nite trying to calm them down to sleep or had a knock out drag down fight with your SPOUSE!! Sorry boys and girls boyfriends and girlfriends dont count...there is more at risk when your married...like everything in the bank! Keep your 2 cents to yourself...your probly going to be able to walk out of that situation if you do...cuz if you open your mouth while im arguing with my spouse im gonna knock you the hell out too! You apparently have no idea what it takes to run a relationship....when your in a relationship for more than a 1 night stand then maybe you can talk to me...not that I will actually listen...
- Walking or riding your bikes on my yard.....my yard is my baby...I work my ass off on making my yard look nice. If i lived over on the "snooty" side of town you would be shot for walking on their yards....so mail people STAY OFF THE GRASS!!!!
- If you do not tie your dogs up do not expect me to be nice to them...they come in my yard and shit and I have to clean up after your dogs...your going to have a present on your doorstep! I have 5 dogs that I have to clean up after and they arent allowed in my front yard...I'd appreciate if you kept your own dog shit! Otherwise next time im going to show your dog the end barrel of my gun!
- This is my house....my kids are here and so are my dogs...and they were here before you! If you dont like animals then dont come to my house. They will jump on you, sniff you and they lay on the couch. If you dont like it TOUGH SHIT! I will not be hurt if you dont want to come visit me its not like you visited that often before anyway! If even at all, sorry not gonna miss ya. My animals are members of my family...you are not!
- Argueing with me.....if you dont know the facts shut the frick up! Dont argue just for the sake of arguement! Its not worth the time and you are just pissin me off so shut up!
- My house is lived in...I will never claim to be a clean freak...we have little piles here and there of just stuff we have no idea what to do with. The floor is clean, mostly everything is put away. There isnt dirty laundry laying around...my stool is clean and most of my dishes are clean and put away...maybe something is on the counter or there is a pan in the sink...again this is my house. I dont go to your house and judge you on not having a clean glass or a place to sit...but dont think I wont if it stinks its time to invest in some Scentsy! That is one thing about my house it will never stink...maybe a little dirty but its lived in...
- Dont get on me about my schedule or give me that look! I am schedule oriented and it keeps me sain...i dont judge you on eating at 10 at nite dont judge me for eating at 5:30. We have been eating at 5:30 for 10 years. Im not about to stop now. That means DONT call me between 4:30 and 6:30....im cooking, eating and cleaning up I dont want to talk!
- When you drop your kid off at the school pull up to the drop off zone..you know the first 20 feet of the corner by their door.....slow down slow enough tell them to tuck and roll and move on! Do not sit there giving kisses and hugs, zipping their coats, tieing their shoe laces and finishing homework...YOu want to do that pull back out of the fricken drop off zone.....Your now wasting mine and everyone elses' time! Also dont drop your kid off in the middle of the street...how would you feel if you get assended and your kid gets ran over...its your fault then what ya gonna do?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
What has happened with the morals and values of yesteryear?
I was raised with the value of treat others as you want to be treated. The golden rule! I raise my kids with that same motto. If they don't want to be yelled at, don't yell. If you don't want to be called names, don't call others names. If you want to be liked....like others.
I was a girl scout leader for 5 years. I even taught that motto to my girls. And you could walk up to anyone of them and ask them what the Golden Rule is and they will tell you. Ask who told them and they will say Miss April. Although I'm sure there are parents that would disagree with me, my girls loved me and respected me. Still do. I worked my butt off for them, stood up for them, cried with them and laughed. They were the greatest bunch of girls I had the blessing to work with. From them I took some valuable lessons as well.....so it was a 2 way street.
When I was a kid, if the school called and said one of us kids did something it was time to tuck tail and run! Cuz we knew mom was gonna beat our asses! Did we do it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. She usually spanked first asked questions after....or until she started finding out that the school would exaggerate she started asking if we had first. But mom ruled the roost. Our parents were feared. And I know I wasn't the only one scared of their moms! Or my mom for that matter.
My mom taught me the difference between right and wrong. Lieing is wrong. Stealing is wrong. And had I been caught doing either of those she would have beat me all the way into next Sunday. I remember once my cousins (boys) went with mom me and my brother to the store. We go in get a few things.....go back to the car and mom hears this wrapper sound. She turns around and asks what is that....Chris says its a candy bar. Mom goes where did you get that? The store...she marched his happy ass back into the store to tell the manager he was a thief(crying the whole time)....If I had ever had the thought of stealing before that...that thought left my mind right quick and in a hurry. She liked to make examples of us.
Did you know that there are many different kinds and grains of SOAP!?! There is...and the boys found out on a daily basis...if they cussed she would stick a bar in their mouth and make them chew on it...again they made me not want to cuss when i was little! Mom used wooden spoons, flyswatters, or cast iron skillets really didn't matter to her whatever was available. Now to those of you that are the younger generation you may be thinking that this is child abuse. NAHHHH that was discipline! WE never stepped out of line but if we did we knew there was going to be consequences! No one pissed mom off......you know the saying if mom ain't happy no ones happy...that was our house hold! Even to this day I have my own weapon....its called "the stick" its one of those huge paint stirring stick. It has disappeared a few times but always shows back up. I usually don't have to use it but if I tell the kids to do something and they argue....all I have to say I'm getting the stick...and they are gone doing what they needed to be doing to start with!
OK got off track a bit....On to Morals....My mom instilled fear in us...which is just the same as morals. My brother and I are still to this day are scared of letting mom down. We don't do drugs, don't get arrested. Try as hard as we can to stay out of trouble. But doesn't everyone want their mom's approval.
Evident ally not! Some people have no morals or scruples! They look for every opportunity to make a quick buck whether its honest or not! To get stuff for free. Steal from the stores or even their neighbors. I've lost good friends because of this. I hate to be lied to! Hate it. If you have something to say to me say it. Don't go behind my back and tell everyone else. Don't go around saying I did this or I did that because this is what you "heard" come ask me first. Whats that old saying "hear it from the horses mouth" That should be another golden rule. Don't assume someone said or did something til you ask them. And then don't turn around and lie to my face about it either.....I hate liars.
My opinion is this....the HHS dept. should stay out of parent raising unless actually warranted! Kids need to be spanked every now and again. I used to have an email about this mom and her son said he was going to contact HHS for child abuse because she wouldn't buy him the new Nike's he "needed"...the next day when he got home his clothes were in a bag on the floor in the living room, a blanket and pillow were laying on the couch. There was a lock on his door! He asked her what she thought she was doing. She said i checked with HHS and they told me I had to give you a roof over your head, not your own room. I've rented out your room. They said I had to put clothes on your back, not name brand...so I've donated all your clothes and these clothes are from goodwill. And food in your stomach, not steak just substance. So your meals will consist of bread and butter and water from now on. LMAO
No kids, and I mean none...should speak to their parents the way that they talk to parents now! If I had done that I would have been toothless by the time i graduated from High School! Again the fear of my mom. She asked for One thing...that was respect. I didn't have to like her all the time but I did have to respect her. She taught me respect is earned not deserved and she had earned my respect! And then we as a society wonder what went wrong with the newer generation (under 30) since HHS enforced the no child discipline laws back in the early 90's. Or parents are too busy and don't care what their kids are doing and let them do whatever they want as long as they aren't in their hair. Or parents just don't give a rats ass what their kids do whether the parents are too busy or not..... Parents need to step up to the plate and start implementing DISCIPLINE now! Or else these children are going to grow up just like their parents and think that its OK to steal and lie...so we are raising the next generation of convicts! Instill values...kids learn by example..what are you showing your kids?
I was a girl scout leader for 5 years. I even taught that motto to my girls. And you could walk up to anyone of them and ask them what the Golden Rule is and they will tell you. Ask who told them and they will say Miss April. Although I'm sure there are parents that would disagree with me, my girls loved me and respected me. Still do. I worked my butt off for them, stood up for them, cried with them and laughed. They were the greatest bunch of girls I had the blessing to work with. From them I took some valuable lessons as well.....so it was a 2 way street.
When I was a kid, if the school called and said one of us kids did something it was time to tuck tail and run! Cuz we knew mom was gonna beat our asses! Did we do it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. She usually spanked first asked questions after....or until she started finding out that the school would exaggerate she started asking if we had first. But mom ruled the roost. Our parents were feared. And I know I wasn't the only one scared of their moms! Or my mom for that matter.
My mom taught me the difference between right and wrong. Lieing is wrong. Stealing is wrong. And had I been caught doing either of those she would have beat me all the way into next Sunday. I remember once my cousins (boys) went with mom me and my brother to the store. We go in get a few things.....go back to the car and mom hears this wrapper sound. She turns around and asks what is that....Chris says its a candy bar. Mom goes where did you get that? The store...she marched his happy ass back into the store to tell the manager he was a thief(crying the whole time)....If I had ever had the thought of stealing before that...that thought left my mind right quick and in a hurry. She liked to make examples of us.
Did you know that there are many different kinds and grains of SOAP!?! There is...and the boys found out on a daily basis...if they cussed she would stick a bar in their mouth and make them chew on it...again they made me not want to cuss when i was little! Mom used wooden spoons, flyswatters, or cast iron skillets really didn't matter to her whatever was available. Now to those of you that are the younger generation you may be thinking that this is child abuse. NAHHHH that was discipline! WE never stepped out of line but if we did we knew there was going to be consequences! No one pissed mom off......you know the saying if mom ain't happy no ones happy...that was our house hold! Even to this day I have my own weapon....its called "the stick" its one of those huge paint stirring stick. It has disappeared a few times but always shows back up. I usually don't have to use it but if I tell the kids to do something and they argue....all I have to say I'm getting the stick...and they are gone doing what they needed to be doing to start with!
OK got off track a bit....On to Morals....My mom instilled fear in us...which is just the same as morals. My brother and I are still to this day are scared of letting mom down. We don't do drugs, don't get arrested. Try as hard as we can to stay out of trouble. But doesn't everyone want their mom's approval.
Evident ally not! Some people have no morals or scruples! They look for every opportunity to make a quick buck whether its honest or not! To get stuff for free. Steal from the stores or even their neighbors. I've lost good friends because of this. I hate to be lied to! Hate it. If you have something to say to me say it. Don't go behind my back and tell everyone else. Don't go around saying I did this or I did that because this is what you "heard" come ask me first. Whats that old saying "hear it from the horses mouth" That should be another golden rule. Don't assume someone said or did something til you ask them. And then don't turn around and lie to my face about it either.....I hate liars.
My opinion is this....the HHS dept. should stay out of parent raising unless actually warranted! Kids need to be spanked every now and again. I used to have an email about this mom and her son said he was going to contact HHS for child abuse because she wouldn't buy him the new Nike's he "needed"...the next day when he got home his clothes were in a bag on the floor in the living room, a blanket and pillow were laying on the couch. There was a lock on his door! He asked her what she thought she was doing. She said i checked with HHS and they told me I had to give you a roof over your head, not your own room. I've rented out your room. They said I had to put clothes on your back, not name brand...so I've donated all your clothes and these clothes are from goodwill. And food in your stomach, not steak just substance. So your meals will consist of bread and butter and water from now on. LMAO
No kids, and I mean none...should speak to their parents the way that they talk to parents now! If I had done that I would have been toothless by the time i graduated from High School! Again the fear of my mom. She asked for One thing...that was respect. I didn't have to like her all the time but I did have to respect her. She taught me respect is earned not deserved and she had earned my respect! And then we as a society wonder what went wrong with the newer generation (under 30) since HHS enforced the no child discipline laws back in the early 90's. Or parents are too busy and don't care what their kids are doing and let them do whatever they want as long as they aren't in their hair. Or parents just don't give a rats ass what their kids do whether the parents are too busy or not..... Parents need to step up to the plate and start implementing DISCIPLINE now! Or else these children are going to grow up just like their parents and think that its OK to steal and lie...so we are raising the next generation of convicts! Instill values...kids learn by example..what are you showing your kids?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
How stupid do you think I am?
Really? How stupid do you think I am? This is a business....and I am excessively anal about my book work.
Some people are just crooks and crooked.....Again looking for something for free! When you go to the gas station and pump gas do you go inside and say I cant pay today. I'll bring it to you later? Or when you go to the grocery store do you say Put it on my tab? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Or when you buy something from Hellmart and you take it back. If you don't have a receipt they wont take it back right? They have to have the receipt to check the UPC label to make sure you paid for it. Now why in my business would I just give you something that YOU said you paid cash for? Really? These little girls that think they can pull one over on people need to be executed! There should be a law against embezzlement towards small business owners.
And If it wasn't her that failed to prosecute the transaction then the Other party needs to stand up and take responsibility for their LOSS of such sales! Not put it off on the Supplier because they SCREWED UP! NOT my problem....... People need to figure out how to be honest...what happened to them? Did they all disappear and figure the only way they can get ahead is by screwing the little man? Well I'm not a patsy and I'm not going to take it laying down...find another sucker to screw!
Some people are just crooks and crooked.....Again looking for something for free! When you go to the gas station and pump gas do you go inside and say I cant pay today. I'll bring it to you later? Or when you go to the grocery store do you say Put it on my tab? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Or when you buy something from Hellmart and you take it back. If you don't have a receipt they wont take it back right? They have to have the receipt to check the UPC label to make sure you paid for it. Now why in my business would I just give you something that YOU said you paid cash for? Really? These little girls that think they can pull one over on people need to be executed! There should be a law against embezzlement towards small business owners.
And If it wasn't her that failed to prosecute the transaction then the Other party needs to stand up and take responsibility for their LOSS of such sales! Not put it off on the Supplier because they SCREWED UP! NOT my problem....... People need to figure out how to be honest...what happened to them? Did they all disappear and figure the only way they can get ahead is by screwing the little man? Well I'm not a patsy and I'm not going to take it laying down...find another sucker to screw!
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